One Year

So today is the year anniversary of when I was admitted into the hospital to be put on bedrest. Not the happiest time in mine and Jeremy's life but something that built us together as a couple with the early arrival of Isaac and Lilly. I've been a little nostalgic today thinking of everything that Jeremy and I went through and can't believe that it's been a year. When Isaac and Lilly were in the NICU it seemed that time had stopped and we were never going to be out of there. I remember being told that one day our time in the NICU would be just a small memory and I remember thinking when are we going to get there or ARE we going to get there. We feared for Isaac and Lilly's lives everyday they were there. But God was good and he continued to develop them outside of me (which is amazing!). Jeremy and I are so grateful for things that I think we take for granted in our children, like lungs that work, and digestive systems that work properly. I don't think you appreciate the small things until you see your child struggle to breathe daily and struggle to keep food down or to digest correctly. I still sometimes wonder why God had us go through such a horrible experience. I don't know if I'll ever know, but there are many things that I learned along the way. For instance, I learned that I have no control over the events in my life. I had no control over whether Lilly was going to have a massive brady and turn blue but God taught me to trust him, and I think that's the biggest lesson learned is trust. We have to trust him daily. The control is not ours but God's. He taught me to let go and to not worry (as much as I tried to not). God gave Jeremy and I amazing peace through the whole experience. We felt peace and we knew that had to be of God. I think of the verse that says to "count it all joy when you experience trials and tribulations" and through all the pain and scariness that we experienced, we were at peace and we knew we would bring our children home with us. I think our relationship with the Lord was made one step stronger than it was before all this happened, but we still have a long way to go, as the saying goes, we are a work in progress. Is that not the truth! We are so thankful to the Lord that he chose to save Isaac and Lilly physically. Our prayer now is that he will choose to save them spiritually!